Why have I been silent for months

Now.
the question comes up
why have you been silent for months?

I have been empty
of the sacred desire to pen down
the remains

to watch myself
stand on the edge of my abyss
and not cry

for loss and findings
I want to stop writing about losing
but even while I breathe, I lose

this is why I have been silent for months
there will be words, I pray
there will be. words. I pray
every single night.

New years

the year treats us
like a day
long and short at the same time

pace, day break

On the break of day

A daily, long  line of papers fly

at the perfect pace

friends or lovers

A friendship, however hard it tries,

Will always be romantic.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the friendship,

Gently it goes

the injured bee

My head stings
says the injured bee
to the hand that hit her

Desolate rain

Desolate  rain

A menacing fox walks

covered by a box

The horses of Bruges

The horses of Bruges
tell a long story
of a lost princess who chased the geese

Doodles, peace

Doodles on the paper
this is how the artist
lets go of the tension

Snowy trees remind me of sparkles

On her nails, the sparkles
glisten like a tree
left in the snow all night

Falfafel of those who left

The falafel of those who left
is richer with their loss
than it is with olive oil

I cannot let go

I cannot let go, you tell me
pointing at the photographs
behind where you spend your time
head first in the notes,
I cannot let go, you tell me
of the ghost that was her,
my mother who died in an accident
twenty years ago

over the sting

My scorpion, you inspire me to write
in secret about the times I have held your hand
without the sting over my skin

rocks, bellies

Originality is keeping space
between the pebbles
knowing that dirt can creep under the belly

girls on the side of the road

To the girls left on the side road

that I cannot help

I cannot even pretend

to know how you feel

Appreciation

Saying words of grace
takes time
to arrive first to the heart
the black hole of all things

this flesh, like a leaf

A strip down
like a leaf left over
like meat, this flesh

Smells like Christmas

It smells like Christmas in my kitchen,
smells like the time I stopped
in the heart of the house

right in the middle like a clot
not moving nor let anyone move
to make Christmas over cold stoves

here is a list of things you need for cake
that serves 6, realistically
even if you are on your own:

* peeled apples
* 3/4 sugar
* flour
* cinnamon
* nutmeg
* salt (to taste)

I stand on a flat corner
kneading the flour
needing a listening ear

I stand in the corner
in my house,
shaking like a belly dancer after a long show
cupping powdered sugar to an empty heart

Pumpkins carvings

Tastes like a potato
this pumpkin
carved with a strong arm

an iron fist
that knows how to manage
a kitchen and three children

Leaf poem

                               up                        

                              if                         
                             the                         
                            lean                         
                           round                         
                        all round                        
                       a cauldron               the      
      so               all round             round       
      lean   do      rather round        all soft        
      all round      very terrible   we all soft         
       all round !   rather green   rather small         
       ever so soft  ever so lean  decidedly lean        
        all strange  thin fore moving, lovingly          
        its littler veins tapered, wordlessly            
       ever so weedy theme drifting, lovingly            
        ever so haggard bow drifting, lovingly           
          its skinny fore moving, lovingly               
           twiggy stem vagabond, lovingly                
        do    wiry base moving, lovingly     !           
   do    ever so gangly base floating, lovingly          
   ever so slender-waisted stalk floating, lovingly      
    ever so spindle-legged radical moving, lovingly      
     its narrow-minded veins constricting, wordlessly    
       ever so slim-waisted radical drifting, lovingly   
       ever so slim-waisted bow floating, lovingly       
        dire, light, common dire, light, weird           
          extremely green !   a cauldron                 
          lean  a veins   !     all soft                 
               green!     !       a veins                
               lean       !           lean               
               so         !                              
                          !                              

rain or shine

Why would you think the sunshine is small?

Does the sunshine make you shiver?

does it?

These passing winds are ice-cold.

winds are you,

do they make you shiver still?

This is us,

Shivering come rain or shine