Monday, May 28, 2018

stagnation, lies

How can one tell a lie
based on its size
as big as the ocean or a sea that doesn't move
this is how stagnant the words become, quickly.

who wins against time?

Who wins against time, 
if I leave the minute to look backward 
at your body walking into a lit room

no one, 
I hear your laughter 
commending what I have left of bravery 

that I have loved a ghost 
dedicated my life to the shadow of a star 
because it was easier to be in the dark 

morbid, I know 
but for some reason I think of you
young and raw, like a new apple left to nature

no one wins against time
it is the only race 
I have been running for years. 

untimely leaving

a departure arrives
by way of summer
I keep praying it changes
the first swallow has just arrived

another anniversary for the ones gone

for T, twenty years onward 

Soft blue eyes,
pale to the understanding

a little girl
with her hand in yours

jumping over a moving stream
picking up the clothes for toys

because she would not have know
motherhood then, like she does now

soft blue eyes
never letting her cry

because tears are made with our most precious
pain, that reverberates

when she thinks of you
away from your city

your old bones now,
tired to the call of a voice

tender to the fact that you
her protection is the first true father

she's ever had.

the tongue in you

Your language gives me a boulder on the shoulder
breaks my arms
but I have to learn to speak with you like I would
an indentation in the silence

Commonly Royal

Horse drawn carriage arrives
just like in the movies, except 
the common has become a royal 
with the bond of love 

Sunday, May 20, 2018

a decade, outta line too

Things I learnt ten years after High-school graduation: 

1. Time flies, literally and you grow older.
At 17 thinking of the future was just an exciting game, guesses, chances, potential was all dreams. But one minute becomes an hour and then you find yourself ten years later with memory. Adult-life is hard and time is precious, so is energy, this is something I learnt the hard way and because before you know it, ten years fly by and because time is precious those who surround us should be as precious.
2. You will never be perfect, but you can be your truest self
Your flaws will never disappear so if you live with them that's the best solution! Grow, give yourself the chance to laugh at things you thought were central to your being 5 years ago because they make you "perfect". So much into the idea of "Perfect" comes from the world around us, exposure to insane beauty and thought standards changes us. Embrace yourself because your own arms give the best hugs.
3. Everyone is insecure, even the most confident.
This I've seen all over the world, I’ve even seen it with officials, successful authors and stars who are as hesitant and scared as an average 17 year old. Fear and the feeling of a compromised confidence is universal how you deal with fear is how you cultivate the facade of confidence you project to the world.
4. Speak up and ask for things that are rightfully yours
When I was bullied, all I thought was: I am better than them. What I should have told myself is I have a voice that’s uniquely mine. Overcoming shyness is probably the best thing I've worked hard on for the past few years. Ask for things that are rightfully yours, don't be shy. I am still trying.
5.You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress.
It is not a cut-clear process. Growth is a work in progress. Allow yourself time to give and receive, time to be a couch potato with crazy childhood-patterned PJs and allow yourself time to wear the Julian Macdonald gown and flaunt it.
6. There will be friends, there will be lovers, there will be leftovers.
Life is unpredictable, always easier with friends: exciting with a loved one and boring with cold leftovers. The thing is, be conscious of who your friends are and don't measure them by years but by situations and the same thing applies to love but not for leftovers- eat good food while you still can!
7. Buy the shoes, take the trip, learn the language, follow that dream.
In essence, don't be closed off to change. Don't deprive yourself of the things you love because passion gets you places. Passion about changing the world took me to Japan, to the States, to the Fringe Festival. Just believe in chances.
8. Life is about hard work, but also about luck
Sometimes you work hard, it pays off. Sometimes you work hard and life treats you with a broken heart, camera and laptop (yes, that's another story for another day!). Sometimes life gives you a once-in-a-lifetime chance which can change your life in a minute like a year abroad for example. Take the chance, jump at things.
9. It is never "too late", except in cases of apologies
it is never "too late" to wear bright red, to get married, to pull an all-nighter. I rode my first rollercoaster 2 days before my 24th birthday. I saw the ocean for the first time at 25. This also applies to thoughts, it is never too late to change your mind about pre-held "set-in-stone" ideas. It is never "too late" except if you've made a drastic mistake then waited six months without getting in touch with someone then it is "too late" to fix it.
10. Face your demons to become free, then smile
Face your issues head on, don't let them pile up and do it with courage and with a smile, with a good attitude.

at twenty seven

I, the ultimate spoken
no longer look at my reflection
ugly duckling in my teens
a swan but not with beauty, with a pride
a step taken at twenty seven

a weekend displeasure

that I care not to what you say
that's displeasure monitored closely
the minute we both step in ice-water
on the only weekend we had freely to ourselves

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Going back

Going back, I find myself walking backwards to the sea
mixing fact and fiction, stirring tears in tea
going back, I dream of potential lives
various definitions of normalcy:

a radio playing a midnight love poem-
music to replace shrieks,
 stories about dancing bunnies
instead of departures for a child's memory
a piece of orange melting in my mouth

 abstracts beget less blossom in using the right verb
 even the church's bell isn't shy from chiming at mid-day
 I count family members and pray in silence
 use verbs like reduce, to tie my blessings together

that I have language,
 that I breath,
that I have stories
 but I know nothing is normal
and I know the verb return
 is a synonym for stay.

a renewed faith

for miss B

You had a spark
a touch, that's always been different- you tell me

I shudder at the faith you give me
one I lost when I last saw you.


is the word we use most
because every day
we look for exits

Saturday, May 12, 2018


You look at your own eyes
to make a match of which is different
by virtue of an upper pupil
this is what happens when you compare
your old self with your new eyes. 


a sense of old bones
fit into this young body
without a real purpose or sense of time

for hope has more than one definition

The painter's tools before your hands
when I ask you say;
there's more than one definition to hope.

on the brink

on the brink of an upcoming death
that swears to not sound so negative
we find ourselves talking about a life
that waits for the decisions of those granting us time
not God, not nature, but others who like us
think they are above nature, above an all-seeing-God
because they hover in their steel planes over the clouds above our cities

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Too many dates to remember

The time of birth, an exact moment,
coupled with the time of death- another
these are the dates you have to remember

a centennial of laughter and forgetfulness
what happens to the years in between,
is it just happenings or a time-filled question?

there are simply too many things to keep in mind
and there are things to evade
let slide like old mud, like nature taking care of its own

there is a time for birth of new ideas
there is also a time for death
there is a space for remembrance
yet there is a bigger space for forgetting

this is a poem that comes on your birthday
this is a poem that co,e on the anniversary of a death
dates to remember and forget at the same time.

protection, speech, silence

This is the notion that is left for us
there is no protection for those who speak
no more for those who are silent,
what then, do we do with our mouths?

Sunday, May 6, 2018

Amina, a girl

You look like what my grandmother 
would have looked like, small and contained 
like a shipment box on a rickety boat
aren't we tired yet of talking about the sea?

maybe we are but we are still unable 

to find dry land, because drier lands breed 
no future, just bucket-loads of dust 
that piles to become make-shift houses 

scary, isn't it? These thoughts coming from everywhere

and nowhere. From a lack of sleep 
that characterizes itself in heavy eyelids 
matching creativity

Amina, the name is a story

like my grandmothers' 
to keep you awake
a child gets reaped

by will or by war

this is a story that births itself 
in my water-filled lungs 


this is what your voice does
calling in the night-time

it is always beautiful to know
someone else shares your loneliness

in between the hours
you should have been sharing sleep

a dream that reaches
around all the heads you wear

but there you are, tiny, sitting voiceless
listening to a description, while awake

looking out on a nocturnal village
that rest at 3:00 am.

When does it come to life?

You ask, when does it come to life,
this passion- words exploding like sugar
when, you ask again
I tell you when faith returns once more.


Your fingers, an instrument,
playing at their own pace
a heart of a rhymer, pacing
the notes, fall like water.

sleepless in your own bed

Much misery happening in your head
it is a shame
you lay sleepless in your own bed, every night

Saturday, May 5, 2018