I speak of gazelles

ع كتر ما طلع العشب بيناتنا بيرعى الغزال"- طلال حيدر"

" For as long as the grass has risen between us, the gazelles can graze"- Talal Haidar

I.

And the grass has gone long, 

an inch between my calves 

irritating this greenery

I see around me

there have been no gazelles to graze 

to ease the sight of the fields 

coloring over the eminence 

of green 

I said I hated green, on me at least 

no blouses, no careful consideration 

of the affects of paranoia on a hushed 

afternoon

the shepherds have gone home 

to warm beds and women who keep 

the sheep and the children 

grazing

only I am left at the foot of the valley

II.

People speak of languages 

like two gazelles jumping from a bank 

to the other, careless to the water 

no one wants to wade out 

your legs would feel heavy with the weight

taken down, compromised 

this terror of words taking over 

the feed of the miles, the stupid things 

we can no longer share 

a re-heated cup of coffee

desperate single Valentines with no red

vowed like an eternal decision 

to deactivate a language 

let it die in your brain

this identity

III

He asks if noble causes 

can lead to a drink with a woman 

who is graced with short legs 

like a child's, she works on her strength 

test the limits, she raises her head

raises an eyebrow, horns, Khal filled eyes

No, she says. It is simple 

how quickly rejection turns into silence 

silence turns into arid, odd-shaped 

half-written letters that are addressed 

to no one, to the vacuum

that surrounds us 

we call air, this space we cannot explain 

she has answers this time 

but maybe next time, he should wait 

before he opens his mouth 

maybe timing indeed is good for growing wild grass

IV

I am struggling with thoughts of gazelles 

left out in the storm

my idol was a deer

doe and child 

narrating what I couldn't carry 

another way of thinking

falling diagonally, the minutes

mixed with cool water, like rum

downed only in the festive seasons

for the long hours of summer I have briefly 

left behind in a locker 

given one key over and lost the other 

to unthinkable roads, things I would never do 

again, had I been able to go back and count the hours

as they come one after one, 

a lie after the other 

here I am with gazelles, grass unmoved, long and all I can think of is 

the gradation of green in your eyes.