Sometimes sunshine is in someone's pocket

For G, after whom there's 'only darkness every day'

You give me a pen
I will give you a stack of emotions to your use
you put flowers in my hair, jump to grasp them
while I stand and think of departures

in a grand sense of the word, with drama
a rigor that goes beyond a year spent with me swearing a lot
for the things I have built have suddenly melted
without my permission or your standing

 you watch me down wine like water while I
laugh in the ears of boys who do not want to listen
to my voice, at least
I have nothing to say to swaying bodies

you tell me to call before I walk the gates of the airport
once I step into the departure hall, all I can see is shadows
of two people, one tall, one short
they are not us, because we were never the sons of happiness

you speak of joy while I see open caskets
ask you to bless my fear and you do
it makes me laugh, this desire of you to handle
the worst parts of me

how can you keep the sunshine in your pocket
when walking out on the street invites darkness into your very skin
soaping you over like a child who's wet with hunger?
you skip in your step and that's where the secrets lie.