disarray

I have known a river
that runs against all others from sea to source
blinking with an undercurrent, it pulled the pious
but left me and you

maybe I should stop using pronouns that identify too close at home
our features, but it can be masked- this habit
the same way we learned that the map is what we see
but maps lie all the time

can't you see,
this it the first kind of discomfort that you note
there is disarray in the simplest of movements
an unnerving settlement in the way you carry your body

from left leg to right leg as you shift your weight
a dance breaks in the middle
then, it is not the same
who said it should ever be?

the wall behind me carries a torn out photo
on I had kept in my pocket for years,
disarray comes in many shapes
then there is you, another ball of mess